— Essay I wrote for my product team —
Wanted to share this reflection based on my 1 on 1s with everyone as it seems we’re all experiencing some sort of collective mix of excitement and anxiety/sadness.
I was listening to a podcast and heard this phase that said:
“How you feel in your life (first person view) is distinct from how you feel about your life (long term / 3rd person view)”
The former is an experience of your life as it is while the latter is a more cognitive perspective
I’ve been struggling with reconciling both where I’m happy in my life but not so happy about my life ( thinking about past trauma, thinking about failures I’ve had in my career, feeling behind with learning and financial goals, etc)
And from my 1 on 1s with everyone today, I think it’s okay to be unhappy about my life as long as it drives me to be happy in my life.
The unhappiness about my life is a sort of fuel to drive small and consistent positive everyday habits and behaviors ( stay hydrated, journal, meditate, exercise, read, be loving, be present, attack the day, etc)
The problem I’ve had for a while now is I’ve conflated the two operating modes and I’ve felt conflicted by the two concurrent emotions.
Was I wrong to be happy in my life when I’m so far behind with everything I want? Is being happy going to lead to failure down the line?
When I was not happy about my life it affected how happy I was in my life. And there lies the problem.
So now I will remain happy in my life and be okay with being unhappy about my life as I should recognize that unhappiness about my life as a good thing to drive me to be better every day.
I am happy in my life (my kid is cute, i have a loving wife and family, and i work with great people on interesting things) but not so happy about my life. and that’s okay.
